Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Holidays? Who Needs 'Em!

To say I love the holidays is a stretch, a really big stretch. I tolerate the holidays because they exist. I tried both ends of the spectrum, celebrate to the max (well, the max for me) and just barely get by. Neither one gives me that deep sense of satisfaction. I've either done too much and am exhausted or not done enough and feel empty. You see, I'm a worker. I am not a dreamer or a schemer or a thinker. I do not get radically happy and I don't get tremendously sad. I don't think about the past and I'm rarely conscience of the future. I work and I accomplish and I cross things off my "To Do" list and that gives me energy, and makes me feel happy and capable and confident. That's who I am. I am feeling a sense of loss today, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

Exactly one year ago, life as I had known it changed. Totally changed. It's been good and it's been not so good. I nearly lost my mobility, my bending and lifting, twisting and turning, walking. Sciatica. Need I say more. It was just a matter of time really, a sooner or later type thing considering the progression of the genetic tilt to my pelvis and degeneration of the discs in my lower, lower back. It has greatly inhibited my "working", my accomplishing, my getting things done and being energized by it.

However, it does put the holidays, the whole "My family/Your family" tug of war, "gotta have this/gotta have that" hustle and bustle, "get this done/get that done" rush rush into perspective. What's the bottom line? The tugging, hustling, rushing, gotta have it, work, work, does not matter.

What matters is my love. My deep love for my husband. My unconditional love for my children. My thankful love for my parents. My "no strings attached" love for my brothers and their families. And my "as close to heaven as it gets" love for my Grandbabies. That's what matters, and that's what I am thankful for. This is the core of my life: My Lord and my Saviour, Jesus Christ and my love for my family.

I'm Blessed. Happy Thanksgiving!


Amy said...

You are truly right-what matters the most is the love we have for each other!! Really, you don't consider yourself a thinker? Hmm... I do.....What about the movies you like to watch over and over again for "figure out?" What about thinking and figuring out people and "what's really going on?" I'd say you are definately a thinker-a very intuitive one!! Enjoy your cooking and DON'T over do!! God is the great healer and that he can do! Love, Aim

Pleasant Drive said...

I agree with Amy. You seem to be a BIG thinker! I appreciated your honesty about your thoughts on the holidays. They can definitely be overwhelming. That is something that we're quickly learning as we divide and conquer family time and the holidays. It's sad that it has to be like that.

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